Thursday, 22 May 2014

Fly by embracing one another

Sometimes other people can really hurt you. The first thing to do is examine your conscience to see if you can in any way be held responsible for the hurt they have caused you. Often the sad truth is that you have done nothing so terrible and you just have to accept the way things are. When one of my sons was small  he was suffering at the hands of some of the other children at school. I blithely recited a childhood chant that I remembered,

 sticks and stones
 will break my bones
 but names will never hurt me.

He looked at me sadly and told me that was not true, names do hurt.
Few of us sail through childhood without learning the hard way that friendship can cause pain. My little granddaughter use to like calling me into the bathroom with her so we could tell each other secrets. One day she told me that she had discovered that it is dangerous to tell your secrets because they can be blurted out by who you thought was a trusted friend. She was five at the time.
After struggling for a couple of years at primary school, with a rather difficult threesome, my own daughter started middle school and we were both delighted with the new easy going friends she made there. One of them gave her a card that said,

We are each of us angels with only one wing and we can only fly by embracing one another.

This is by Luciano De Crescenzo who was born in Naples in 1928. He wrote a book about his home town called Cosi^ parlò Bellavista, Thus spake Bellavista, which was made into a film.
Perhaps one of the most helpful quotes about pain, whether emotional or whatever is by Burnet Hillman Streeter, (1874-1937),

Conquer by accepting. Pain, like other elemental forces in nature, can be turned to use but only if the laws of its operation are first understood and conformed to. Those who meet it clear-eyed and with a positive and active acceptance make a strange discovery. they find that they achieve an enrichment and a growth of personality which makes them centres of influence and light. they become socially creative.






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