A laugh a day....

There are lots of things that we should do every day, like eating at least five portions of fruit and vegetables, washing, going to work, thirty minutes of exercise, getting some fresh air, telling your loved ones you care and having a laugh.

Here is your laugh for the day, they are actual announcements taken from church bulletins and show the joys of the ambiguities in  English language.

The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement on Friday afternoon.

This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north end of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

Tuesday at 4.00pm there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk, please come early.

This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs Johnson to come forward and lay an egg on the alter.

Wednesday, the ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs Johnson will sing 'Put me in my little bed' accompanied by the pastor.

Thursday at 5.00pm there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become Little Mothers, please meet the minister in his study.


A young couple were preparing for their wedding by having a rehearsal before the big day. The priest told the bride-to-be that she should walk down the aisle to stand at the altar next to the groom and then the organist would start up for the first hymn.

As the bride walked into the church on her father's arm she breathed in and said to herself,

 I'll alter him,

aisle altar, hymn.

Here's the last one from my brother:-

Two dogs and a cat go to the Royal Albert Hall and walk up to the doorman.
The doorman looks at them in surprise and says,
'you can't come in here, you're two dogs and a cat.'
One of the dogs replies,
'Yes we can. I bark, he often bark and him de pussy.'
I Bach, he Offenbach and him Debussy

I hope you're laughing!!

Good morning to all of you who want to fly towards a wonderful day