Love is an absolute value

Just been thinking about my post about love from the other day and one of the comments from one of my regular readers, by the way I love getting your comments.

This what I think but of course it is open to debate.
 You have to separate love from feeling.
 Of course when you fall in love, the sort that makes your heart beat fast and feel all funny, you need that to make you want to be in a relationship with someone. A lot about falling in love is the way that person makes you feel. If they fall in love with you too then of course it makes life wonderful and you should both make each other feel good about yourselves. How wonderful it is to be able to say to someone that being with them has made you a better person, because that's what we all want to be isn't it? We want to feel good about ourselves and that we are getting better all the time. That's why it hurts so much when people harm you with careless and unkind actions or words.
Over time though love cannot always be about feelings, it has to be a value, that you live by and that guides your actions.

Friends and family can make us feel good about ourselves too. A parent has a lot of power in making children become the adults they will be. we try to please our parents and become what they expect us to be. So if throughout your child you hear that your elder brother is the clever/good looking one and that he needs to be looked after and you have to be careful with him because he is a bit fragile, then you do what they say. If you hear them say she's always going to come up smiling, she's got such a happy nature, then it reinforces your behaviour in that way.
Because you love your parents and your brothers or sisters you pretend that you haven't noticed that they consider the elder or younger one more, because you love them.
Friends can make you feel good about yourself too, make you laugh, let you know how much they enjoy your company, they might even let you know when you're going off track.
People that you love can hurt you , badly, sometimes just too much so you have to distance yourself from them, but that doesn't mean you don't love them anymore, as Shakespeare so eloquently phrased it in his sonnet.

'Love is not love that alters when it alteration finds..'


So to sum up for today love is an absolute value because it doesn't need anything else to survive, it stands alone. Other values  like honesty, loyalty, fairness, bravery can be relative and change and be interpreted in different ways, but love is love and that's that.
You cannot make someone love you, you can win their approval but do not mistake it for affection.

29th February, a Chance to redress the balance

Tomorrow is the 29th February.  look upon it as a prize, an extra day to do something special.
You all know the rhyme that goes like this:-
year.

30 days have bright September, April ,June and dull November
All the rest have 31 excepting February
Which has but 28 days clear
And 29 in each leap year.

The 29th February was introduced to balance the calendar.
At school we were told that women could ask men to marry them on that day. This seemed very exciting and we would discuss at length who we would ask to marry us given the chance. Most of us though prefer the man to do the asking.
Legend has it that St. Brigid of Kildare made a deal with St.Patrick. She thought it would be a good idea for women to be able to make marriage proposals every four years, to balance equality between men and women, like the date 29th February balances the calendar.

So here is a special wish for anyone who has a birthday tomorrow, or a wedding anniversary or any special event marked by 29th February.

February flowers have done a great job at cheering up the winter days

It's Only Love

The other day I read an article in a magazine that asked you to reflect on your top five values in life. I straight away asked my oh (recently picked this up, it stands for other half), without hesitation he replied, ' You only need one, it's love'.
Yes well, centuries of songs and poems and books have told us that, the Beatles summed it up for us 'All you need is love.'

Bertrand Russell describes love as a condition of absolute value as opposed to relative value. Love as a value is not only romantic love, it covers everything with everybody, from friends and family to complete strangers. It covers honesty, loyalty, fairness, justice, bravery, mercy.
It's love that keeps us together, from couples to families to society.
But where does it come from and what is it and how can people learn to love if they
don't?

It's love that makes someone give you an anti stress colouring book full of hearts

It's love that makes someone give you a heart to keep away the evil eye

It's love that makes a special cake for a special little girl

It's love that makes a rose bloom in winter

It's love that welcomes you to a friend's house

Finding the Way to a Vegetarian man's heart

Most of us while growing up probably heard the saying 'that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach'.  Preparing the first meal for a new man was always very special, and also a bit fraught with emotion. It is a sort of test, will he like my cooking? Will we like eating together? This may sound old-fashioned now in a world of celebrity master chefs and when so many men happily do the cooking.
Whenever we went out for Sunday lunch my mum and I would have the fish, my dad would have the steak. So for me men equalled meat eaters, so I would prepare steaks or casseroles or Boeuf Stroganoff or Boeuf Bourgignon to try and find my way to my man's heart.
Nowadays there are many macho men who are vegetarians, Here is my recipe which will appeal to meat eating and vegetarian men alike. There are mushrooms in it to give it a sort of meaty appeal. You can prepare most of it in advance so all you have to do is assemble the tart and put it in the oven, then relax and share a glass of wine while waiting for it to cook. Hope you like it and it finds its' way to your man's heart.

Leek and Mushroom Savoury tart

I baked pastry case
1 -2 leeks, washed thoroughly and sliced thinly
olive oil
butter
salt
500g mushrooms, washed and sliced
150g cheese, grated
2 eggs, beaten
300ml cream
pepper and salt to taste

Gently cook the chopped leeks in a small amount of butter and oil on a low heat until soft. Drain on kitchen paper and set aside.
Put the mushrooms in the same pan and cook gently for about 5 - 10 minutes and then drain on kitchen paper.
Beat together the eggs and cream then stir in the cheese season to taste.
Place the cooked leeks on the bottom of the cooked pastry case.
Scatter the mushrooms over the leeks and then pour the egg, cream and cheese mixture over the tart to cover.
Bake the tart in  the oven at 180  for about 25 - 30 minutes until golden and set.
Serve with a green salad.

Fabulous Foccaccia from Puglia

Every day all over the world people are making things to eat using flour. Hundreds of types of bread, pasta, cake, pastry, dumplings, the list is endless.  
From way back, before the Romans, back to say the year 6000 BC there is evidence of people grinding cereals into flour and making some sort of bread.
Each and every country in the world will have a favourite way of mixing flour with water, oil or whatever and making something to feed family and friends.


 It is well known that Italy is the home of pizza which comes from Naples. In nearby Puglia, the last region on the south east coast, they have Foccaccia,

My friend from Puglia makes Foccaccia every week to remind her of her home. She describes the preparation of the focaccia, her eyes closed and a smile on her lips, with love and nostalgia. She tells you memories of her childhood, of her grandma and her cousins all sitting round eating focaccia on the beach in the summer.

'Oh' she says, 'la sua morte è mangiarla con la mortadella, e una birretta.' Roughly translated means that you should always eat focaccia accompanied with slices of mortadella and a small glass of beer.

So here I am following my friend's recipe for focaccia and closing my eyes and thinking of the beauties of Puglia.

Foccaccia Pugliese

1 sachet of dried brewer's yeast
500g flour,  MANITOBA
150g of mashed potato, this keeps the focaccia soft
250ml warm water
1 tsp sugar
1 tsp coarse salt
20ml olive oil

Method

1. Stir the sugar and dried yeast into the water.

2. Put into a large bowl with the mashed potato and mix well.

3. Add the flour, the olive oil and the salt and mix well, using your hands.

4. Cover the bowl with cling film and put in a warm place to rise, for about 2 hours.

5. Line a baking tin with oven paper and brush lightly with olive oil. Put your focaccia dough into the baking tin and squash it around with your hands

For the topping

cherry tomatoes
garlic
oregano
oil
sea salt

Wash and cut the cherry tomatoes into round and put them in a small bowl with chopped garlic, oregano, olive oil and a pinch of salt. Let the flavours develop and then press the tomato rounds into the focaccia.  Add some olives if liked.

Cover the baking tin with a tea towel and leave in a warm place to rise for another hour.

Heat the oven to 200, not ventilated.

Bake the focaccia for about 20 - 25 minutes.
Sprinkle with a pinch of sea salt to finish.

Hope you like it!!

Everything looks a bit white ..

One bowl for the flour and one for the potatoes and water mixture

Place the bowl of dough somewhere warm

Look how it has risen!!

Prepare the baking tin and select your topping

Slice the tomatoes and add chopped garlic if liked, oregano and olive oil

Put the dough in the tin and then press down the tomatoes and olives

scatter over some sea salt

Foccaccia, mortadella and a glass of beer

A poem for a Brand new baby

Here is a poem by William Blake that sums up perfectly the feelings of looking at a new born baby.

'I have no name
I am but two days old.'
What shall I call thee?
'I happy am,
Joy is my name.'
sweet joy befall thee
Pretty joy!
Sweet joy but two days old,
Sweet joy I call thee,
Thou dost smile,
I sing the while,
Sweet joy befall thee.

Really I wanted to write my own poem for a new born baby but in the meantime William Blake's wish is perfect,, wishing a new born baby a long life full of joy, with his lovely mum and dad.

 

Finding someone to care

This beautiful song from the 60s always fills me with a kind of comforting peacefulness. Every one of us will probably have their heart broken at some time or other. to have your heartbroken you must have given it to someone, you must have loved. In the song he is thinking about romantic love, but you can have your heart broken in so many ways and by so many people, family, friends and lovers.
Every time you love and lose your heart gets broken., even if it's your hamster passing on to a better life you still feel heart break.
My facebook page is full of quotes designed to help heal broken hearts, disappointing relationships, failures etc. So many hearts need healing. So many songs and poems about loneliness and broken hearts.
See if you can recognize just these few
'All the lonely people, where do they all come from''
'Too many broken hearts
 in the world, too many dreams have been broken in two.'
'It's a heartache, nothing but a heartache'.
And of course from Jimmy Ruffin.
'I know I've got to find, some kind of piece of min, I've been searching everywhere just to find someone to care.'

Here are my words to help all broken hearted people today

Courage, Gratitude, Forgiveness, Humour and of course Love

Have a nice weekend

Little people that make the world a better place

Stevie Wonder said it for us, but here is my poem all the same, hope you like it

Three Years Old Today

There is a little girl I know,
She's only three years old,
But it's already very obvious
That she has a heart of gold.

Her smile really lights the sky
More brightly than the sun,
She has such a  warm and cheerful nature
And always ready for some fun.

She's sweet, she's kind, she's funny,
It's so very clear you see
Her company is so precious
Like her mummy's is for me.

Her little arms wrap round me,
I look at her dear face
My heart it swells with love
And the world's a better place.

A cake for a little princess

A Cake to help you Celebrate

First of all Happy valentine's day to you all!

Whenever someone has a birthday, wedding, friends and family round for coffee or Valentine's day or any kind of celebration one of the most important things to think of is the cake.
A special cake is always a symbol of joy and happiness, better still if home made.
Here today is a lovely cake that is very attractive and also delicious, the strawberry flavour icing gives the promise of Spring.

Celebration sponge Cake

For the cake

175g butter, cut in cubes and at room temperature
175g self raising flour or plain flour plus baking powder
175g sugar
3 eggs
2 tbsps. milk
100g coloured confetti, sprinkles or as they used to be called - hundreds and thousands

for the icing
75g strawberries, washed, pureed and sieved
225g butter, at room temperature
375g icing sugar

Make the sponge cake by putting all the ingredients except the sprinkles into a large mixing bowl and whisking together until light and creamy.
Stir in the confetti.
Pour the cake mixture into two 18 cms sandwich cake tins that have been lined with oven paper.
Bake in the oven at 180 for about 25 minutes. Test in the usual way by inserting a knife or toothpick.
Leave to cool in the tin for 5 minutes and then turn onto a wire rack to cool completely.

Make the icing by beating together the butter and half of the icing sugar until creamy. Add the strawberry juice and the rest of the icing sugar and beat again .
Use half of the icing to sandwich together the two sponges and then decorate the top and sides of the cake with the rest.
Cover the top with coloured sprinkles.

Everything ready

Stir in the sprinkles

Two sandwich tins

Get ready to make the icing

Strawberry juice gives a wonderful flavour

Ready to celebrate

Funny Ways to remember things

The fine weather means that the lake near my home is no longer frozen and the swans and ducks look delighted to be able to splash around again. the wind is making the water ripple and life is returning to the countryside. Walking round the lake with a friend I saw a black and white duck, she knows the names of all the wildlife and confidently replied that it was a coot. then she told me a way to remember which is a moor hen and which is a coot.

A coot has a white stripe and 'coot 'and 'white' have a 't'.
A moor hen has a red stripe and 'moor hen' and 'red' have an 'r'.

Funny isn't it the tricks we use to remember bits of information?

The great lakes, Some Men Have Even Jumped Over
Superior, Michigan, Heron, Eerie, J for the Niagara Falls and Ontario.

Henry VIII wives, divorced, beheaded, died, divorced, beheaded, survived.

The word 'independent' in English and 'indipendente' in Italian, e in the English word, I in the Italian one.
The other way round here:_
confirm - English
confermare - Italian

Putting the clocks back/ Forward
Spring forward, fall back

The Little Prince and his Rose

Aphrodite Rose

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On my balcony there is a beautiful rose. It was a present two years ago. It is called Aphrodite. It bloomed happily all last Summer and then faded away. Now in the middle of Winter a solitary rose has bloomed, quite magnificently. It makes me think of the Little prince and also Beauty and the Beast come to that, and all sorts of things like 'A thing of beauty is a joy for ever.' You know what it's like.

Anyway I spent my childhood in a literary world of Winnie-the-Pooh, Beatrix Potter, Enid Blyton and Wind in the Willows. They were the friends that shaped my philosophy on life.

 I didn't come across ' The Little Prince' by Antoine Saint Exupèry until I was a teenager.
We had to read another book by Saint-Exupery for A level. It was called 'Vol de Nuit', and was about the pilot of a mail plane and to this day the images and emotions described so vividly in that book accompany me whenever I am on an aeroplane. Powerful writing indeed.

So that's when I got to read about 'the Little Prince' and his rose, the fox, the drawing of the hat which is an elephant, the snake and the whole of life's lesson therein

I went to see the film version of 'the Little prince' last week. It was quite beautiful, and could not have been easy to transfer to the big screen, but it works. The parts of the book are in paper and the other parts of a little girl, her mum and an old man who lives next door are in modern day cartoon style.

Afterwards over hot chocolate and spritz we discussed the life lessons from the story.
There is a lot about solitude and growing up and becoming an adult, but for me the main lessons come from his relationship with the Rose and the Fox.

The Little Prince looks after the Rose so then the Rose needs him and he tames the fox, so then he is responsible for the fox.  The Little Prince thinks the rose is unique but then he sees lots of roses and it takes the fox to make him realize that his rose is still unique , because it's his. If we give our heart to someone, our love and affection then we start to need them. There are people in our lives that need us and we are responsible for them.

What do you think?